Now, please be advised, this ain’t a hate piece, its a real piece. Real, cuz I’m real real real real real tired of seeing grown men act like they are not used to nice things.
Now, I admit, due in part to the rep I have cultivated as a Boy’s Girl, I have a little bit of this coming. I have a good solid group of men around me, whom I love dearly and apparently make feel too comfortable. They like to talk to me bout their escapades with women. They like to get my advice on women. I’m their guy. For the most part it’s cool, a highly symbiotic relationship. Where the problem arises is when SOME of them act like they have just been released from Alcatraz after serving a 70 year sentence for sexual assault.
I was walking with one of those men recently when I experienced such a moment. I was telling a story THAT THEY ASKED ME BOUT when a moderately shapely woman walked by. And I say moderately as a qualifier, not a diss. She had a nice ass, but nothing that should have caused instant drooling and walking into walls – which is just shy of what my dear friend did. I usually let this slide and just ignore it, but I kinda lost it. And while I wont betray our shared confidence, I will tell you all the reasons you look dumb as fuck getting tongue tied over some T & A.
- Your advanced age.
- The greatest offenders are all over the age of 40. Some 30 years after pubescent girls started sprouting forward and backward, your ass still ain’t used to it.
- Its fucking rude.
- When you are with your wife or significant other, do you stop her mid-sentence and say “did you see her ass?” If not, great, don’t do it with me either. If so, great, wait til you get home and say that shit to her.
- You have daughters or sisters or nieces or aunts or grandmothers or mothers.
- Straight up – the greatest offenders all have daughters and talk all that shot-gun bullshit – not realizing they are the types of men they need the shotguns to protect their daughters from.
- It implies a strong disrespect of women.
- That confuses your small brain doesn’t it? Your dumb little head is telling your dumb big head that women like to be stared at and ogled. There are times a woman wants attention. Her style of dress will SOMETIMES indicate that. You don’t have to take my word for it, but a woman in a pencil skirt and blouse with a Starbucks cup in her hand ain’t here for your loud ass “DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN.”
- Women are people, not just a sum total of parts.
- You could just walk up to her and say, “Hi, you really look nice today.” Even though that appeals to her brain and leaves her feeling happy and respected instead of debased and violated, just try it.
