television – Myalogy

Snowflakes: The Teaser

zyansaeed615 / January 20, 2023

yall. the trailer dropped recently and I screamed and I wanted to fcuk it. Yeah, the trailer. I wanted to have sex with the trailer…..saint, his broski luhlee, unc, louie, Cissy AND even her mole. I want it all and I want it now! (sorry mom and big guy if that paragraph offended…) If you don’t wanna see nothing read nothing know nothing bout this season, why did you click on this story? Everyone else, leggo! This aint too long after the events of last season….the baby is still cooking. Saint V done got all glammed up! Whose face is The Saint burning? Is this Franklin’s childhood home he done burnt up? Oso is FREEEEEEE and doing handoffs with Louie. Cissy made good on that Cuban KGB connect. 2 ppl dead in the street, one with a dark skinned hand and I think that’s Saint V crying in the streets, but I can’t be sure. Who the hell is this? Franklin is in a crib that gets shot the fuck up. Unc and Louie canceling someone’s Christmas….SN: where the fuck is Power: Tommy? NO FRANKLIN PUT DOWN THE GUN!!! whatchall think? yall ready? did I miss anything? Oh, I saw a pic of someone with what I think is their mouth cut off (could be just something stuffed in his mouth) but I have the eyesight of Benny from Harlem Nights….soooooo…… if you too wanna get fucked by a tv show’s preview…and take that how you want to, click here. See yall the week of 2/22!

Recaps

And Just Like That…..He Gone

zyansaeed615 / December 15, 2021

Man, who would have thought that in an episode where Carrie said the word “pussy” and we were treated to the stomach churning sight of John James Preston jagging off that those wouldn’t be the most shocking moments of the premiere of the Sex and the City reboot “And Just Like That.” Let me tell you how bad those final moments hit me. My intended was on a conference call. My first yell of “CALL THE POLICE” left him slightly startled. Then WHAT ARE YOU DOING BITCH?! scared him. My the time I was full out sobbing he and our trusty dog son were tearing ass to get back to me to make sure I was alright. I was not. To him, I was. But upon hearing the words “and just like that, big died” (or whatever she said that I barely heard thru my sobs) I truly was not okay. And so this is how the creative team behind a very highly anticipated continuing saga wants to start off – with me, texting one of the writers (humblebrag) how I would murder that entire writers room. Lets take on this episode with a character by character recap shall we? Carrie – Gotta say, I didn’t feel a whole lot of character development here, probably because she’s almost in the same situation with first met her in, with a ring from her beloved and larger bag. While not a perfect friend, she’s always been a pretty good one. So good that she misses out on a SCHEDULED departure to go on a weekend jaunt with big to watch charlottes kid in what I am sure will be her one and only piano recital – tho got damn lily played the hell outta that song. She’s always been a bit of a prude, but why join a podcast that you had to know sex was gonna be part of and act scared to talk bout sex after years of having a column called, well, yall know. As for her new “job” it very much gave me cringe. Just seems in place to check alot of boxes, but thats television in this era…..anyhoo, so as lily’s piano crescendos, big’s cycling intensifies and my eyes begin to water. Its clear what’s coming but you hope against it. And when she finally returns home to find him dying but not dead, you still have a bit of hope – til she said what she had said. RIP Mr. Big and RIP Carries wedding choos …..sad, so sad. Miranda – So this one gave me pause. I don’t give a fuck that Charlotte thinks her gray hair ages Miranda directly, but also Charlotte indirectly, but I do give a fuck that a woman that spent months getting dicked down by Blair Underwood is suddenly very confuzzled by black people. I know getting black dick doesn’t equate to being an ally, but all the unforced errors? I dunno, maybe this is yet another sign of the times….white folks that didn’t see color are starting to see too much color and it blinds them. BUT that notwithstanding, you aint gonna tell me miranda is so damn white that her red assed son is having sex in her house to the point that he’s leaving used condoms on the bedroom floor. And ya daddy not being able to hear don’t get you no sympathy points. I was probably 48 the first time I kissed a man around my mom and I just turned 46. Read that as many times as you need to get it. As we can totally see, Miranda was part of the PussyHat Dolls, spurred by societal injustices to leave her corporate firm to return to school to become a justice warrior, only to find a black assed instructor who aint impressed by her, but will soon become her friend….if the previews are to be believed. Charlotte – now im writing this bout six days out from the premier, so I cant really remember all that much about Charlotte other than her life seems as perfect as usual. Oh and her youngest daughter Rose is likely Trans, or Bi, or a Lesbian, or just don’t like Oscar de la Renta dresses, but it seems obvious her kids are gonna be her storyline and her fabulous relationship with Nicole Ari Parker. Im rooting for you Charlotte, give me more to write aboutcha! Samantha – Oh I know she’s gone, but her presence looms large and false. Apparently the biggest author since Stephen King, Carrie Bradshaw, stopped writing books and dropped Samantha as a publicist, a sin so egregious that she cut off her ENTIRE friend group. Samantha, who once blew a delivery guy and got caught….. Samantha, who once wore a bad wig to chase down Richard…. Samantha, who fucked a kid who showed up shrieking how much he loved her outside her window….. was SO ashamed by being fired by her friend that she ran off to London, only to be resurrected in the form of a lone funeral spray bearing her name. NO. NO MAAM. Sirs and madams, NO. I think I read today that she would consider returning in some form….or maybe that was about Bethenny Frankel and the Real Housewives of New York, two developments that would make me very happy. NEXT TIME WE HAVE A VERY HORRIBLE FUNERAL TO LIVE THRU…. For this week’s fashion recap click https://www.myalogy.com/recaps/ajlt-c-line-style-capture

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 6.13 Let it go or Let her go?

zyansaeed615 / January 21, 2020

Hey Kiddos, we are in the final stretch here, with two episodes to go before Aunt Mary and Zaddy Meth pick up the mantle and give us whatever Courtney Kemp has left to give in Power 2: Book of Ghost. But wait, before we do, lets send off my favorite white boy and yours, Thomas Patrick Egan Teresi in a right proper way – One befitting of all his cold ass outwear looks he served over the years. BUT, and its a Kardashian sized one, before we start what did Ghost say when Tommy came to share his final moments with him? Let it go? or Let HER go? Quite different outcomes here. Some eagle eared (is that a thing) viewers heard let HER go, while some hearing deficient viewers (HEY MYA HEY) watched with the captions on (NOT THIS TIME FOR ME) and read LET IT GO. Based upon the spoiler 50 gifted us with and some frantic ass posters shared, im thinking it was let HER go, but im not a losing attention seeker, so I wont be sharing what I think was said here, but hey….its out there is you want to spoiler a show you’ve spent 6.5 years watching. Back to Tommy….. We open the show seeing what happened to poor Uncle Benny – he’s compacted in the ambulance that Holly – and I was wondering why she was in the opening “PREVIOUSLY ON POWER” – suggested Tommy get to launder his money. He then goes to see his mother prompting me to write in my notes “SHUT THE FUCK UP KATE,” which I will find myself saying many times throughout this ep. Elisa Marie: unfortunately for us, this plot line is indicative of the corner the show painted Tommy in. I really dont care about her and as evidenced by her Aunt leaving her when she said she didnt want to be alone and the body guards that mysteriously disappeared after Vincent was killed, but Tommy was still on the loose, no one else does either. What’s interesting to me, is that, after all Tommy did to her, killing her father and her uncle, kidnapping her, subjecting her to Kate’s white girl braids, telling her the truth bout her frand Tariq, shit talking her bout her dad, for some reason, she frees him. Somebody gotta make that shit make sense to me because at current, it absolutely does not. And them bonding over their junky moms aint gonna do it. HE KILLED HER FATHER. PeriodT. Also, what aint gonna do it for me, is the structure of these final eps….how much more stress would you have felt for Tasha when Tommy rolled up on her with the truth about LaKeisha’s death if you didnt know that she lived to show up at Trust Attorney Elvin’s office. There was no benefit to that scene knowing she lived. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. And so what ends up happening to our boy after dropping Elisa Marie off? Im not really sure because the timeline is kinda effed up to me. However, I do know that he went to Truth to tell his bruddah he loved him and to possibly kill his killer, only to be stopped by a bloodied Ghost, which says to me, the killer has to be someone he cares about, cuz I doubt he would stop Tommy from killing Saxe or anyone other than Tasha or Tariq. His next stop was off to Kate’s, who again prompted me to write SHUT THE FUCK UP KATE. Telling your own flesh and blood who you just asked for an 8ball how they aint shit is some Trump level parenting (to his sons, not his lover Ivanka). I mean how much longer is that money gonna last, Kate? You will be looking up your son in LA in no time flat. The final shot of our boy, in that Rick Owens jogger, riding off in his blue bitch that was restored to greatness by his brother, left me dropping one lone gangsta tear. Myalogy Minutes: Does anyone other than my deaf ass need the captions to discover what TwoBit is saying at any given time? EM knows bout proof of life, but cant tell her buddy Tariq is a liar. Tommy in LA is a show I would def watch. At least we know Tariq wants his father to die at his hands loves his father enough to not sell him out to the Italians. Why would Aunt Bennie think a 17 yr old she never met would be capable of the things his rotten 17 yr old ass certainly is capable of? I mean we know Tariq, but she dont. And how she know the back door was left unlocked and everything else she confronted him with? Tommy goes to Truth during the campaign event and lo and behold, TRUTH DOES HAVE SECURITY! Wow, whodathunkit? WTF IS GOING ON WITH GHOSTS HAIRLINE? Ced the Entertainer is a hitta for the Italians. OKAY. Power: Revenge of Paz’s Funky Bubble Coat. Tariq and his reasons for wanting to kill Ghost are so fucking immature. He lied. SO FUCKING WHAT KID. You lie too. Kill the villain soliloquies…just shoot the mofo and stop telling them WHY you are killing them. Spotswood caught that capital L right to the eye. Speaking of Spotswood, why was he just walking round eating hohos and drinking strawberry quick? PROTECTIVE CUSTODY ANYONE? Courtney, nice throwback to Kill Bill dialog about EM coming to find Tommy when she grows up, like The Bride told Vivica’s kid…and by nice, i mean lazy. I be too lost at times, maybe I should watch Power Confidential, but only if Terrence J aint in them silky rayons everyweek. MINI SPOILER ALERT: Tommy was on the radio here in Chicago, over the weekend and said that the killers name starts with T – Tate, Tasha, Tariq. Whatchall think?

Recaps

Powerful Thoughts 4.4

zyansaeed615 / July 17, 2017

We’re in this together. That’s not only the title of this episode, but a line that is spoken by nearly all of the characters: Angie to Tasha, Tasha to Jamie, Procter to Jamie and Tommy to Proctor. Last week, I briefly mentioned the mirrored dialogue in the show and that trend continues this week. Question before we start — who has the higher body count? Tommy, Hannibal Lecter or R.Kelly? I KEED. I KEED. Prolly Kelz tho, right? I SAID I WAS KIDDING! Let me stop. Nothing is funny bout that piece of shit. And now, for those of you that were more interested in how CO Darkness was gonna abuse Jamie than ol girl returning to her GOBSMACKINGLY GORGEOUS DRAGON LAIR…. Lawyers Gonna Lawyer This season the lawyers, Proctor in particular, are doing a bang up job. As Angela continues to get shitted on due to the DNA evidence and her box getting tossed, her male counterparts are making major moves. Proctor put the cables on black baldhead Fed, so hard he turned dude into the “Angry Black Man,” cast aspersions on his character and got the gun thrown out. Kim Tall Un Mak cast aspersions on the validity of Proctor repping Jamie and Tommy and got him thrown off the case. Angie cast aspersions on Jamie’s loyalty to his family, which placed small cracks in Tasha’s loyalty to Jamie. Proctor casts aspersions on Angie’s belief that Jamie is a selfish murderer, which causes her to review the security footage of Jamie’s Truth office, which shows that at NO point did Jamie hide that gun there…..which means someone else did. DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. Tommy Teresi I mean that’s gotta be it right? This dude gotta be Tommy’s dad or someone super close to him. Tommy continues to be the most interesting character at this point in the season. To date we’ve seen him fuck and finesse Keisha; handicap the Dominican Shrek; threaten Dre; hold down Tasha and the kids; and murder a federal agent. Tommy bout that action, boss. He makes the drop per Jamie’s request and comes face to face with one of Teresi’s associates, who shows his hand and KINDA admits to a mob hit he and Teresi committed, which is enough evidence for Jamie to call Teresi’s bluff. When Teresi asks to see Tommy, Jamie not only tells him that aint gonna happen, but the blackmail is over too. Teresi may know who Jamie is, but Jamie also knows who Teresi is and what he’s done….acts that would put his dying wife’s life in further peril. Teresi appears to get the picture, but we never know. He also meets with Proctor, who tells him an agent has incriminating taped evidence on our boys. Tommy demands to be there when the tapes are played – one on which Tommy admits to killing Lobos with Ghost and one on which Tommy is heard murdering Ruiz. Fearful that the tapes will get out, Tommy shanks ol boy with no remorse in PROCTOR’s crib and wipes the bloody knife on Proctor’s shirt. They are TRULY in this together now. Julio Dangerfield No respect. Not from Tommy, who has zero tissues for his issues, especially when Dre’s money is late. Not from Dre, who gave no fucks to be on time for his drop and didn’t even bother to explain why he wasn’t at the primera meeting. Not from the Taino leader, who told him straight to his face told him he didn’t trust him to do his job and then turns around and talks shit to Dre about his distrust of Julio. I sincerely doubt any of this would be happening if Tommy was still distro. Haven’t any of these people heard of a learning curve? The White People’s President is getting one here in Murrica, surely someone as fine as Julio should be getting some adjustment time. Got Til It’s Gone St. Patrick Family bank accounts – gone. Weave Got the Fun – gone. Truth – gone. The feds are squeezing the life out of Jamie and his family, which is weird cuz his crimes aren’t financial, but hey…I’m not a lawyer. If someone got me on this one, hit me up. Myalogy Minutes Jamie looked fine as hell pushing that weight off his almost lifeless body. Four seasons in and I STILL love the theme song CO Darkness has killed before and will have to kill again at another prison if Proctor efforts are successful I hate this niglet lawyer. “Are you trying to get me to slap the fuck out you?” Slap her Tasha….or at least have your mom no one has seen lately do it. Kills me how Kanan’nem just sitting up in that old dead ladies apartment. Aint nobody looking for her? Kesha’s eyes are greener than Badu’s upon learning Tommy’s getting out her bed to sleep on Tasha’s couch. Someone told me the actress playing Raina is 21 which is crazy, cuz her body reads 11 and her face reads 211. Tariq’s probably gonna end up in jail just as Jamie is released. He is the only common thread at the burglarized houses. Speaking of that dick…he’s moved from hoops and syrup to hitting blunts and boo-tay. Alright Tommy! Gone and fuck the doubts out your girl! Silver being Jamie’s only way out terrifies me. Whatchall think?

Recaps

Atlanta: The Cleland Notes

zyansaeed615 / January 9, 2017

Hey Golden Globe Watcher! It is your time of year! When all the awards shows tell you what you should be consuming creatively that you were just too lame to seek out on your own or jump on the bandwagon of when the rest of us cool kids told you to. (Lean in: listen to The Internet, NOW.) You have watched the Globes, saw the brown suit, heard the Migos shout, and his gratitude to the Black People of Atlanta not to be confused with the black people of Atlanta and you wanna be down. Cool. Now, the GG’s just aired last night, and unless you are a super geek, you haven’t had time to binge watch. And if you have had time, you need to get a real job. Anyhoots, if you wanna impress your white co-workers or your friends on the block who you wanna seem cooler than, buckle up buttercup. Drop these lines and people will think you are an influencer. Now, as I titled this, these are the Cleland notes of the show. You still need to watch. Drop these obscure dimes, follow up with “I love that show” and get the fuck out the breakroom and away from the watercooler. Say this about: Ep1/2 (aired together): The Big Bang/Streets on Lock “But why this muthafucka ask to measure Earn’s dad’s tree? HE CRAZY! This ep established the wonderfully odd LaKeith Stanfield’s Darius. He does other shit, like have dejavu about a dog. Introduce himself to Earn right after introducing himself to Earn and other assorted shit. But I have never in life heard someone ask someone to measure their tree. His disappointment at not being able to do so is super endearing. “Did they subtitle ol boy in the jail, tho? Leben Years!” Two of the crew finds themselves in jail. A native Atlien explains why he landed there, which was subtitled for folks that have not spent years of their life in Atlanta. I knew what he was saying, cuz AUC ALUM, but it took some time before I developed an ear for that twang. Ep3 Go For Broke “I wish a muthafucka would tell me I cant order a kids meal.” Earn and the fast food employee chick that gave the School Daze crew a hard time at the KFC round Mission College (a real location) had a back and forth because his financially challenged ass couldnt afford an adult meal, but wanted a kids meal instead. She was having none of it, cuz “she dont see no kids.” “That date? THURGOOOOOOOOOOD.” Earn takes his baby momma out on a date he cant afford, nor pay for in a scene right out of Half Baked. If you dont know what “Thurgood” nor “Half Baked” refer to, just stop reading this. This show is not for you. This blog is not for you. Ep4 The Streisand Effect “Thats the lil boy from Instagram! I love they using real Atlantans on this show!” Bankroll PJ is a lil precocious kid from Atlanta, who is the type of kid you forget is a kid. My intro to him was a short vid where he says “We be flexin….” Well, flex on playa…just keep them grades up like ya mama says you do. “We’re friends now? Tears” This one is specifically for the ladies, cuz the dudes cant be “tears”-ing over other dudes. After some straight madcap hijinx to raise Earn some money…..Darius utters the phrase to him and Darius officially has our hearts. Ep5 Nobody Beats the Biebs “White people dont play bout them dogs.” In this ep, there is a black Justin Bieber, a white lady that cant tell black folks apart – even the ones that have wronged her, and enough niggas for a tarantino script, but Darius’ visit to the gun range with a dog shaped target……yall know you cant shoot no dogs. Ep6 Value “That bitch reminds me so much of <insert frenemy name>” Van has dinner with Jayde, an old friend who we all have and let remain in our lives way past their expiration date. Man or woman, we all know a bitch like Jayde. “Van, just have the baby pee in a cup.” That one is for all my upwardly mobile reefah tokers. Ep7 B.A.N. “The Black N Mild Commercial!” This episode is so chock filled with greatness, its hard to parse out just one thing about it, but remember, you havent seen the show, so you gotta get in and get out. This one line should do the trick. Its straight forward, no guesses – there is a commercial bout a Black N Mild. Ep8 The Club “Was that the invisible car they was talmbout?!!!” You gotta say this one excitedly, as this was for the true Atlanta A1 Day1 Peace up Atown down fans…..there was a mention of an invisible car in an earlier ep, which appeared in this ep…or did it? Ep9 Juneteenth “40 acres and a Moscow Mule.” A drink served at the Juneteenth celebration held in the home of a man that is every white person you know that wants to show you that black lives matter, especially the black life with whom he sleeps. Ep10 The Jacket “He slept in a storage locker, just like Hannah did on Girls! You know he was on Girls right?” This will either make you sound like the coolest most aware black person alive or the lamest for watching Girls. Its a tricky one, but it will show you are a true Donald Glover fan. Now, go be great…… …..and fuckin watch the show for Chrissakes. Fave moments and lines? Hit them comments!