What’s up kiddos? First post of the year and decade! WHOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO! Watch out for me….to get totally uninspired and stop writing again – lol, who am I kidding? Consistency is not my strong suit and let’s be honest, Im not nearly as effective as Dre as making the most out of a day, so enjoy this recap, as who knows when the next one is coming!
Firstly, am I in the minority here when it comes to enjoying how it seems this season is gonna play out? Now when the ep first came on, I thought I was having an aneurysm or mayhaps the <redacted> I was <redact – hey wait, its legal now in Illinois! So continue, mayhaps the MARIJUANA I was smoking was too strong, cuz I was sitting there like, didnt I see all this before? Then EUREKA! They were replaying key points and mixing them with heretofore unseen footage to let us know how Ghost’s final day played out from the various suspects in his murder. Me likey!
And wait, did I just say Ghost’s last day? They just threw that lil tidbit in there kinda nonchalantly, right? Almost like he MAY not be dead…..but we shall see in six eps, right?
- Now back to Dre and his day…..man the Army shoulda caught this nigga before Spotswood and Francis did, cuz he truly embodies the slogan “be all that you can be” – which was the Army’s slogan back in the day, a tidbit for my younger Myalogists. Now I feel great when Im up and out on a Saturday by noon, run one or two errands, pay a couple bills on line, order some food and back in by two. Just call me She-Ra out this bitch, but DRE? ANDRE? ANDRE COLEMAN? ANDRE MUTHFUCKING COLEMAN…nah….this man does more in one day than yall do in a two weeks. Join me on a rundown of his final day on Earth….
- Started his day off singing the worse rendition of Rise N Shine to his daughter since Kylie’s version…Im sure Kris J is on the line to Fofty (spelling correct) for some form of royalties RET NAH.
- Has the requisite “Sin, lets just go to Africa” convo with his baby mama, who pretends to not know who she had a kid by.
- Goes to see Saxe and calls him a bitch ass nigga.
- Gets his entire network killed
- Gets shot
- Gets bitched out by baby mama
- Goes to his own mother’s church where she is the only person leaving at that exact moment and for some reason snatches her up by the shoulders like a raperman.
- Goes to Tasha’s to extort her “broke is broke ass” and threatens to burn her spot down.
- Meets Tariq for money, which Tasha got on the phone on Dre’s orders and asks for.
- Goes to Truth to extort Ghost.
- Goes to Councilman Larenz’s office to extort him, for new id’s for him and his chick.
- Gets arrested for Killing The Irishman, I mean the Serbian.
- Almost starts a prison fight.
- Gets sprung by Det. Rosie Perez
- Escapes federal custody
- Had a come to Jesus talk with his mother while getting a gun pulled on him, and subsequently pulling that same gun on her
- Went back to Tates for the ID’s and money
- Started driving into his future before his greed got the best of him and he turned around to go kill Ghost at Truth at Larenz’s request.
- Pulls up in time to hear Ghost shot and to run smack dab into Det. Perez.
- Cold cocks Det. Perez
- Stops at a gas station for knock off Funyuns and a stuffed animal at a joint not 39759387598759475 miles outside of NYC.
- Hears Ghost was killed via a gas station tv.
- Gets RE-ARRESTED
- Has another come to Jesus moment with his mother, baby mama and daughter
- Actually starts a PRISON FIGHT
- Gets put in solitary
- Got burned alive
- Had his song played over the ending credits of a show he was never intended to be on this long – shouts out to Rotimi.
Now, tell me….wtf did yall do with the last 24 hours yall got? Im sure nothing near to what Dre accomplished with his.
- In my mind, Francis took a deal like his buddy Spotswood did and they are next door neighbors in sunny Arizona.
- Dre’s cattiness was off the meter this ep!
- Calling Saxe his rightful name: Bitch Ass Nigga
- Telling Tasha he would burn her spot down
- Telling Ghost to take the bass out his voice
- Telling Det. Rosie to hurry up with her lil papers
- If I was Tasha I woulda told that nigga to go head and burn this bitch to the ground…I got insurance! (lordT I hope she has insurance!)
- Why Ghost always need to be at the scene of the crime lurking like a god damn wavy haired ghoul?
- Speaking of Ghost…Planmaster J was in full effect this ep, even tho we only saw him a handful of time and thank God we didnt have to hear him tell anyone “So and so, I have a plan!”
Up next seems to be Paz’s showcase…..