So, more than 1 of yall came at me bout last weeks missing installment. I’d like to kindly direct you to Courtney Kemp and her meandering lackluster story. Episode 4 was full of such nothingness for me, that I struggled to write it. I was just gonna post a list of questions, like where is Tasha living and why is Angie so dumb, but that seems reductive and quite honestly it wasnt worth my time, so I skipped it. I am happy to report that to ME, she redeemed herself with this weeks look into the big rich town. Unfortunately Im not feeling particularly witty, so no cute subtitles this week, lets just get to it.
OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KUNG-FU KENNY
Almost killed, and I lied about the subtitles. “The spanish dont want nobody to have nothing just like you.” And with that we were off! Episode 5 brought about the guest star we never knew we needed nor wanted but Kdot was all up and thru the set bringing some much needed levity to a dark show, well as much levity as an accomplice to multiple murders crackhead can bring. There he was spouting gibberish, dropping science and getting sprayed with the blood of our boy’s rivals, the Tainos. Just when it seemed like Kanan was gonna Kanan and end this witness to his dirty deeds, a softening occurred. My unreliable brain would have told me that Crackhead Kenny’s words to and about Kanan got his life spared, but when I watched it again this morning, I saw that Kanan made the decision to not kill him prior to him telling whole truth and nothing bout the truth about Kanan – he aint shit, his mama aint shit, he aint gone never be shit, etc. Santa Kanan gave his lil crackish buddy some chicken, his gun to sell and his thoughts on cunnilingus and sent him on his way. I for one am grateful to Kanan for sparing his life and I am grateful to Crackhead Kenny, cuz without him, I wouldnt have a visual of Kanan riding thru the streets on a Strawberry Shortcake bike. God bless them both.
MY SUPER SWEET SIXTEEN
It may have been if Tasha and James son wasnt so fucking stupid and of the ill gotten thought that he was grown, but nope…he’s fucking stupid and think’s he’s grown so when Raina said to him last season that their next birthday would be the first they spent apart, it wasnt cuz of Choate. This birthday, complete with some dumb shoes a middle aged latina picked out, a absentee father, a cake for his dead sister, dumb school questions from his Aint Keisha , a come to jesus talk with his Uncle Tommy, and a non answer to his query of who his mother would have preferred die, couldnt have gone better for young master St. Patrick. Left stewing with his mother’s pills and unheard cheers of “do it!” from the audience, Tariq is sitting there on ready for his drunk ass father’s entrance into the lions den. He calls his daddy Ghost, tells him his dead sister was a gold digger and that he dont need a fucking thing from him…and all he got in response was some disconnected inebriated fisticuffs and some aid and assist from his mother, who dont even like him and told him to stay out, excuse me, stay THE FUCK out the way. #teamtasha Dejected and rejected, busted and disgusted, the young cop killer calls the last friend he got…his buddy who got him into all of this, Kanan – a man that stays ready to offer Tariq a sip from his straw of whatever he is currently drinking.
Nothing cute for the people’s champ, who continues to hold the key to my heart. The ep opened up with him possibly staring down the business end of Teresi’s gun at Vincent’s insistence for penance for lying about Dre still being alive. I mean who aint mad that Dre is still alive at this point? According to Vincent somebody gotta die due to this lie and its up to Teresi to choose, his best friend or his get out of jail free card – and to absolutely no ones surprise, he picks his son over his friend. But to most of our suprise, the gun is loaded with blanks and now Teresi can never really be trusted by his boy again, as he was willing to end his friend. Sammy rightfully yokes Tommy up and tells him how everything has been fuckT since he stepped on the scene and he’s absolutely correct about that. This means my heart lives to have yet another ill advised conversation in front of Kanan and then providing me with one of the best scenes of the season thus far – his take down of Tariq. He gets the young dummy out the crib under the guise of a gift and his first chance to drive and then drops the hammer on him bout tricking to dre that the hittas were coming and how that dumb ass decision has echoed through all of their lives. And this fracking moron sits and asks “why yall aint tell me?” CUZ YOU A FUCKIN KID BITCH! What struck me most during this scene is how Ghost shoulda been having this convo with his son, not Tommy, but Ghost cant seem to see much these days except the bottom of a bottle and Angie’s name on his speed dial.
- Why when Ghost stayed in a hotel it was all futuristic and modern and Tasha’s hotel looks like a Mayberry BnB?
- Silver continues to annoy
- Why Tasha’s mama dont know of her son in laws attorney?
- Tomeka said she hired Angie cuz she knows how much she loves to win? Where the wins? Who got them?
- Thanks to Ghost for finally playing offense, got Dre fired and choked out Ald Larenz
- “Go where? This my muthafuckin house, you left, remember?” SAY IT WITCHA CHEST GHOST
- Angela needs to move…her building aint very secure. Remember Greg had her hemmed up with a gun in there?
- Where was I with this Diego gold gun thing?