Insecurities 2.5

Love, or something, is EVERYWHERE this episode!

Daniel <3’s Issa

Oh boy.  This boy is headed for some major heartbreak – and everyone can see it coming except him.  He was everywhere for her this episode.  Opening his front door for a daylong romp. (Can I say here how I just love those flings with an old reliable?! Nothing like it.) Buying her pastrami tacos in an attempt to keep her around after she tries to make her 2:30am post coital escape.  On the other end of a “wyd l8r” text when she is concerned a Tinder date may not work out.  At the scene of the accident, hugging his boo and reassuring her that he has her, no matter the circumstance, freaking her the hell out.  Two pairs of big girl panties for Issa stopping that shit, or trying to, at that exact moment.  She told him she fucked shit up the first time around and she had no intentions of leading her FWB astray ever again.  He said he got it; but he didn’t – the awkward way he let her go as they walked to his truck said it all.  They never do…..they never get it, even when being told directly.

Lawrence <3’s Social Media

You may not want to admit it, but 3/4’s of us have been where young Rence found himself Sunday night and the other 1/4 of you are lying about it.  It starts innocently enough. You just scrolling through YOUR social media feed minding your own business, when in the background of a friends pic you see your man with his hand on the ass of Maxine Shaw Attorney at Law – literally.  For real her.  Erika Alexander.  Just me, huh?  Fine.  So then you gotta go on Erika’s LinkedIn; then her Insta; then her Snap; then you gotta go and see if her MySpace is still active before you know it is 3 in the morning, you’ve snatched out the tracks from your bun, three empty bottles of Ginger Angry Orchard surround the sofa and your eyes are bloodshot, but you are now armed with the information that Ms. Alexander was Mrs. Pettigrew’s favorite Composition student and she USED to have a perm while she hashtagging everything #teamnatural.  Gold I tell ya.  Gold.  Lawrence went down that rabbit hole after seeing a truly innocent picture of Daniel and Issa and he raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan a country mile with it.  He began to question everything about his relationship. Stalked not Issa, but Daniel’s social accounts before doing the only thing one SHOULD do when finding themselves in this situation – get that block game proper.  I was proud of him…I’m a big proponent of self-preservation – although I did give Ms. Alexander the Celie fingers when she popped up on the screen in Get Out.

Molly <3’s Marriage

Myolllllllly, you did not discuss this with me, so I’m a bit perturbed, but understanding, kinda, maybe.  So all the snaps to you for your money moves at work.  Like a Clarkite, you will find a way or make one and it looks like your way is Chicago.  #leggo.  Her parent’s vow renewal that she has been talking about for a couple of weeks is here and she has returned home to her cute lil block with her cute lil family!  Dro is back on the block for the festivities and we have a clear answer on how they know each other.  They grew up together. FUCK YOU CANDACE.  Not wanting to appear to be the lesbian spinster, Molly brings old boy from that show that makes yall cry every week to the festivities. WHY GIRL WHY?  She doesn’t like that man, but at least it will keep the OLG off her back.  Dro arrives looking like he is gift wrapped in a very tight suit just for her and the sparks between them are palpable.  But that smile is bout to get wiped off her face, as the OG of the OLG reveals that Molly’s dad cheated on her mom BEFORE SHE WAS EVEN BORN.  This revelation throws her for a loop – she explodes at her parents before running out and past old boy from that show that makes yall cry every week.  But never fear – UnderDro is here! He drives her home, and listens to her – really listens instead of refuting her claims about marriage as I am SURE he wanted to.  He was just THERE for her.  He walks her to her door and a song I am now in love with begins to play.  She stops him from leaving and Molly has just become what she claims to have no patience for: a cheater.

Issa <3’s Hoetations

Daniel, NeighborBae, Dickpiccer and Si Bitch!

Derek <3’s The Truth

Rarely do you see a man being so honest with his boy about his shortcomings.  I felt like this scene was a nod to all the #lawrencehive that just started watching the show without context.  This man sat in their home for two years – doing nothing, but working on his plan – a plan that included nice things for her birthday with no follow thru. Disappointing her.  Until you are a woman that leaves the house going to work and returns to it finding her man in the same place, you will not understand.   Does it give her the right to cheat?  No.  But you can understand how it could happen.

Session Notes:

• Issa’s “Down To The Penny at the Pump” game is SKRONG.
• Shine Lil Rel Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.  I see you with that passa’s body.
• The Kelli Prenny Muthafucking Carolina Reaper Pepper Challenge Mixer!
• I’ve not paid much attention to Issa’s work sitch and I know my cuzzins gonna have a problem with this, but I think there are things to learn about Frieda’s reaction to the way we tend to exclude folks.  Go tell ya fave I said it. So I can tell ya fave, fuck you.
• DRO: if you had a fade and wore camo, lil Myadro would be in utero right now.
• Issa & her lil brother = Mya & her lil brother.  Stupid ass.
• “Are you good with your hands, or just better with your dick?”
• Auntie?  You couldn’t wait til the drunken reception to tell talk shit? Damn. Old people – I hate them for their freedom!
• Issa, why you aint go in the stall with all that sexting?
• SEE. WHAT. I. AM. TELLING. YALL. BOUT. DICK. PICS? #badbusiness
• Molly: I understand ya pain, sis.  But you need to extend the same courtesy to your parents as you do Dro.  Your parents’ marriage is theirs to create and define just like Dro and Candace’s is theirs.  You wrong.  Your dad made a bad move and your mama – the only person that matters – has forgiven him.  Your dad is going over the top with the renewal cuz he loves your mother, period.

Saddiquencies

This man and his imprint are SUCH a big part of the show, I gotta show tribute.  Every week, a diff Saddiq penned/produced/performed song.  I open with one of my faves.  The HBCU in me and them tubas?  Yes.